You know that phrase “don’t put all your eggs in one basket”? Well I now I finally understand why people say that.
A lot of things have happened in my life. Many of which put me in the position to close myself off from the world and just hide away. I wasn’t open to relationships in any form. At one point I even shied away from friendships. I had a few hobbies which occupied my time, but mostly I had my job.
I put my heart and soul into that job. When I looked around at everyone else’s lives and saw all the things they had, I realized that the only real thing I had was my job. When I broke up with my college boyfriend my job was there for me. It kept me busy and active and helped me heal. It was there for me while I tried to work on bettering myself. My job turned me into the confident and strong leader that I am today. My job was better than any boyfriend could have ever been. My job was always there, and it was the thing I turned to time and time again when the rest of the world disappointed me. I could always rely on my job being there.
That is, until now.
No, I didn’t lose my job. However, I might as well have. Things were put into place that have made everything fall apart so quickly. In a matter of weeks I lost my entire support system. Words were tossed around like “regionalization” and “restructuring”. Departments closed, and it felt like everyone fell into this giant pit of despair. It has been unbearable.
I walked around the building one day, looking around at my colleagues and the shell of the workplace I once loved, and realized exactly what it felt like…
It felt like the end of a role playing video game, before the final boss, where the main characters have lost all hope. Maybe they have lost comrades, or are fearful they won’t be able to succeed. There is this feeling of foreboding that lingers in the air. The uncertainty of the future has left everyone feeling lost and scared.
Just like in the video games, where everyone sits around a campfire and contemplates how to handle the impending doom, we are left to try to figure out what to do with the hand that we have been dealt.
Many of my coworkers have already left, with many more to follow. Now I’m left to wonder if I will be the only one standing when the end comes?
Left standing before the end of the world.